Stirring The Nest

I wanted to share something with you that I hope will encourage you. This morning I was on my knees on the bathroom floor praying through Psalm 86 out loud. I was desperate to hear from God. I needed to know that he hears me, sees me and cares about me. I know this stuff, but when you are in the midst of a battle it's hard to remember sometimes. Maybe I'm an easy target for the enemy because I believe his lies too easily. But I've felt attacked, which sounds dramatic but it's the only way I can describe it. It seem every few years I go through this- just a real, heavy, battle. I can feel "it" on me, around me, every where and it tempts me to despair. Some old things I thought I had worked through, even had victory over seem to come rising up out of the ashes and can seem HUGE in my eyes. As if to say, "This is the time it's going to be the end of you, You never get through this" kind of thing.

This morning as I was praying I got to verses 16-17 of Psalm 86 and it says " Look down and have mercy on me. Give your strength to your servant, save me, the son of your servant. Send me a sign of your favor, then those who hate me will be put to shame, for you O Lord, help and comfort me." That verse stuck out as if it was the only verse on the page. I said "Yes Lord, Yes Lord" over and over and then had to get on with my day of getting myself ready for church and the three little girls. As I was sitting in church I felt the urge to run out of there. I fought it and looked down at a note card that I wrote 2 Thessalonians 3:3 on, "But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one." I read it over and over and then the guest speaker got up to talk to us.

He read Deuteronomy 32:11 "like an eagle that stirs up it's nest and hovers over its young, that spreads his wings to catch them and carries them on it's pinions." I immediately sat up to listen harder. Something grabbed me and I couldn't take my eyes off the huge picture of an eagle he had on the screen. He began explaining that the mother eagle will stir up or messes up the nest when it's time for the little ones to learn to fly. She hovers over the nest, ready to swoop down and catch them if they are struggling to fly. Tears filled me eyes. He said that we might be cosy in our nest today or we might be flying, soaring just fine in life. But maybe we are falling and struggling and when we do sometimes nothing makes sense, even our theology seems to not be working and we can't remember any promises from God. In his great Welsh accent he said this is a beautiful picture of our great God- he swoops down so to speak and carries us on his wings to safety. I got home and read in J. Vernon McGee's Commentary this- "This is the way God watches over those who are his own. God pushes us out of our nest sometimes, not because He doesn't love us but because He wants us to learn to fly- He wants us to learn to live for Him. This is a wonderful description of the goodness of Jehovah."

Last night before I went to bed I had been thinking that maybe God is trying to teach me to fight in some ways. To stop taking the lies and filth that come straight from the enemy's mouth. Maybe it's time I start recognising it at the first lie and not even entering in to the enemy's mess. Usually, I cower down and start agreeing with the lies and before I know it, I'm a wreck. I feel like I'm falling down in the dark abyss of torment and chaos. It's a scary fall. This morning I believe was for me. I prayed that God would help me see or hear from him and this morning, in the chaos that was my mind, He spoke calm, peace and love. I'm His child. I'm chosen. He cares more than I will ever understand. What the enemy has meant for harm for me, God has meant for good. The enemy wants to destroy me, but God, maybe is using this to "stir my nest" and teach me to fly. To stand up. Enough is enough.

I hope you find that as encouraging as I did today. As Romans 8:15 says, "For you didn't receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the spirit of adoption, so we cry Abba! Father!" I'm so glad I call on my Abba Father to reach down and pull me out of the pit. Help me, Jesus.